The manager helped the employee recognize that she could choose to shift her focus off what she could not control and onto that which she could control. We cannot control how others behave or what they say. Sometimes you will need to help your employees accept that people will say negative things to or about us.
The manager offered to role-play how the employee could respond in a better way the next time the situation arose. Managers should recognize that we can’t just tell people to do stuff then expect them to know how without every practicing. Offer to role-play new situations to help your employees practice. This manager offered,
The manager started by asking the employee to explain what was going on, then asked a few additional questions and listened to uncover what the employee was thinking. The manager first asked the employee to explain what was going on. The employee told her, “Well, they’re saying these kinds of things about me and my skillset. Maybe I should go to the training again.” Then the manager asked additional questions –
The manager worked backwards through the Thought Model. Once the result had been identified, the manager worked backwards through the Thought Model by asking the question, “What would you like your result to be?” “And what do you need to do; what action would you need to take?” “What would you need to feel to take that kind of action?